My bed and I love each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.Rating
My bed and I love each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.RatingWhat did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the cornerRating
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!Rating
Student - "Professor, I don’t think I deserve this zero on my test."
Professor - "I agree, but it’s the lowest grade I can give."
Student - "So, you’re saying I earned it?"
Professor - "No, I’m saying you tried your best... to not study!"
Student - "Effort recognized, finally!"RatingWhy don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!RatingPatient: "Doctor, I’ve been seeing these strange spots everywhere I look."
Doctor: leans in "Hmm, that doesn’t sound good. How long has this been happening?"
Patient: "For days now, and it’s driving me crazy!"
Doctor: thoughtfully "Have you seen an optometrist?"
Patient: confused "No, just spots."RatingWhat’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Its carrot!RatingHave you heard the joke about yoga. Nevermind its a bit of a stretch.RatingHR- There is two years gap in your CV Candidate- Yes Ma'am I was in jail. HR- Why? candidate- I Killed HR who told me "We Will Let You Know". HR- Welcome to our Company.RatingWhen students are bright, what does a teacher do? She wears sunglasses.RatingWhy did the principal go to the bank?
To check his principal balance!
RatingWhy did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!Rating
Why can't you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.Rating
How does an attorney sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other side.Rating
Why did the mother-in-law bring a ladder to the wedding? Because she heard the bride and groom were "tying the knot" and she wanted to make sure she could still be the top tier!RatingWhy did the big brother take a ladder to school? Because he heard the high school had too many steps!RatingMother: Why are you always on your phone? Daughter: Well, Mom, I'm just keeping up with the latest trends and news. Mother: Trends and news? All I see you doing is texting your friends! Daughter: That's true, Mom. I have to stay updated on the latest gossip to share with you!RatingMother: Why did you ask for money again? Daughter: Because I want to buy something nice for you, Mom! Mother: Oh, that's sweet. What are you planning to get me? Daughter: A wallet, so you won't have to keep giving me money!RatingMother: Why did you take so long to come home from school today? Daughter: Well, Mom, I had to stay after for a study group. Mother: That's good to hear. What were you studying? Daughter: The art of avoiding your questions, Mom!Rating
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