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Lion!!!
In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment,a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,
'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas
to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
*Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!*Rating
TC to Sadhu :- Where you want to go ?
Sadhu :- Want to go to place where lord Rama born...
TC :- You have ticket ?
Sadhu :- No !
TC :- Ok come with me !
Sadhu :- Where ?
TC :- to the place whereLord Krishn was Born !!!Rating
Modern Wife
Husband to Wife - You will never succeed
in making that dog obey you.
Wife: Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with you at first.RatingMOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET
WHICH IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET OF ALL?
" W "!!
B'COZ ALL WORIES START WITH "W"
WHO?
WHY?
WHAT?
WHEN?
WHICH?
WHOM?
WHERE?
WAR!
AND FINALLY
Woman and WIFE....!RatingA teenage gal chatting
A teenage gal was chatting on fb
wid a stranger
Stranger: hey pretty! Cud u gimme ur MSN?
Gal: oh yes sure :)
its - iHaveaBoyFriendAndiLoveHimAlot@getlost.com
Stranger: and mine is iAmYourFather@uaredead.comRatingPower of Computer
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.
"My love, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."Rating
Lifty In Emergency
The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file. After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath. The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies,'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'during an emergency please use the staircase'!!!RatingColleting Moths
A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled `COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS.' When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered "No".
Then why are you checking it out?"Because",said the boy,beaming from ear to ear,.."I just started collecting moths last month!".Rating
What do you get when you play country music backwards?
You get back your wife, your dog, your truck...RatingHuman brain is the most outstanding object in world. Itfunctions 24hrs a day, 365days a year. It functions right fromthe time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examinationhall.RatingSpecial offer..
Bring a chit on exam day,
scratch and show it to your nearest teacher and
win free trip to Principal's office and enjoy 3 years vacation at home.
Hurry offer valid until exams only..RatingHEIGHT of COOLNES: Finishing the paper, coming out of the exam hall, having a Cold Drink & asking ur friend: "Dude, which paper was it?"RatingSaints and Students
Long Back,
People Who Sacrificed Their Sleep,
Food, Laughter N Forgot
Their Family Were Called Saints.
But Now They are Called
"Students"RatingTo be a good Proffessional,
always start 2 study late 4 "EXAMs".
Because it teaches u ..
how to manage "TIME" and tackle "EMERGENCIES"!!RatingNew exam pattern
1. General students : Ans ALL questions
2. OBC : Write ANY question.
3. SC : Read ONLY questions.
4. ST : Thanks for coming to exam.RatingExam rule of NEWTON:Half of wat u read is waste,
Half of d rest u dnt undrstnd,
Half of wat u undrstnd u wont remembr
n d Half of wat u remembr is nevr askedRatingClass Rooms are Like Train
1st 2 Benches R Executive Coaches
Reserved 4 VIP
Mid 2 Gen Compartment
N Last 2 R Sleeper Class.Rating7 things Students do during Exams preparation:
1) Sleeping.
2) Eating.
3) Sms.
4) Watch Movies.
5) Chat with Friendz.
6) Dream Of Touching Books.
7) Asking Others "Kuch Padha Kya"..RatingATTITUDE DURING EXAMS:
They gave me the questions which i don't know,
So i wrote answers which they don't know.
Tit for Tat dis is called ATTITUDE.RatingHead or Tail
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
Head, I go to sleep.
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I'll studyRating
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